Microwaves of Aspen Reduce Carbon Footprint


Microwaves of Aspen Reduce Carbon Footprint

Aspen’s Latest Fashion Trend Saves the Environment

In a press release Thursday morning, Aspen Snowmass detailed the plans for a new initiative to help their resorts be more sustainable. They will be harnessing solar power from the latest high-end fashion trend, often referred to as “microwaving.”

“These shiny snowsuits are more than just an eyesore. They’re the future.” said Auden Schendler, Vice President of Sustainability for Aspen Snowmass.

Capturing the power of the sun through these wearable microwaves allows both tourists and locals to significantly offset their trip’s carbon footprint. Furthermore, skiers and riders will also be able to track their efficiency using the app, Wavelength.

This proprietary technology has been in beta testing throughout the 2020-21 winter season. According to sources, early investors include Elon Musk, founder and CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, and the many Reddit diamond hands of Wall Street Bets.

The fashion movement has also caught the attention of Instagram’s most influential influencers. “It’s like wearing a movement. Fashion, but make it eco-friendly,” says Wendy Wattz of Ski Town All-Stars.

The locals seem to be on board as well. Bryce Kellogg, frequent patron of Aspen’s Cloud 9 Alpine Bistro, added, “The shinier the better. Everything about the earth is so hot right now. Happy to help. I just wish other resorts would get on our wavelength.”

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